This Bong Vape Is Not Only Ridiculous, It’s Smooth as Hell
It’s a bong! It’s a vape! It’s a… bape? A vong? I dunno, man, but the Hydrology 9 produces the smoothest vapor I’ve ever tasted.
The Hydrology 9 is the first portable “liquid filtration vaporizer.” It’s roughly the size and shape of a Red Bull can, but two inches taller. The combination of brushed aluminum and glass gives it a handsome, sophisticated look. Honestly, looks like something a stoned Jony Ive would make, if he wanted to make a lightsaber to smoke weed out of.
As much as we hate the term “frankengadget” that’s sort of what this thing is, as it brings the the advantages of a bong (sorry, “waterpipe”) to the world of vaporizers. The concept of the bong—for those of you who who didn’t live in my dorm—is that the smoke passes through some water, with the primary objective being to cool the smoke down. The water does a little filtering, too. The combination makes for a smoother, less harsh hit. Vaporizing weed (which heats the bud to the point where the good stuff turns to vapor, but the nasty stuff doesn’t burn) is already way easier on your throat and lungs. Adding bong filtration makes the heat even lower, the vapor a little less dry, and everything feel incredibly smooth.
The Hyrdology 9 is chock full of smart features. At first glance I thought, “There’s no way this thing is going to be ‘portable’ once it’s filled with nasty bong water.” I was wrong. The mouthpiece has a built-in valve to make it essentially leak-proof, especially when you attach the magnetic mouthpiece cover on top of it. I tried knocking it over, flipping it, and running around with it in a backpack, and I was amazed to find that it didn’t spill a drop.
To use the vaporizer, you unscrew the mouthpiece and pour some water in until it’s roughly 70 percent full, then reattach the mouthpiece. Turn it over and unscrew the bottom compartment. That’s where you put your ground-up herb. The bowl looks small, but it’s actually very deep, which makes it pretty big for a portable vape (0.7 x 0.4 inches), and it has a clever, built-in stirrer so you can get even heating throughout your session without having to open up the chamber. You just twist the bottom piece and you’re good to go.
To start your session, you press the Hydrology 9’s one button three times quickly. Then press the button again to scroll through its five temperature settings, which is indicated by a different color lighting up the water chamber (a very nice, lava-lampy effect). Once you settle on the temperature you want, it will slowly heat up and turn green when it’s ready. You put your lips inside the mouthpiece (more like a bong than a traditional vape) and inhale, which produces the classic bong bubbling sound, and then, oh my…
As you exhale you realize you took a way bigger hit than you intended. The vapor this thing produces is so smooth you can barely feel it entering your lungs or throat. There is none of the dryness or heat I get with even the best vaporizers, even when I set the Hydrology to the highest temperature. Before you realize it, you are way more stoned than you intended to be, so I hope you don’t have anything important to do.
Actually, that’s a byproduct of one of my problems with the Hydrology 9. Its five heat settings—blue, light green, orange, purple, and red — correspond to 392F, 410F, 428F, 446F and 464F, respectively (or 200C, 210C, 220C, 230C and 240C, if you’re playing the Celsius game). 392F is really high to be the lowest setting. The Vapium Summit , for example, starts at 320 degrees F (160C). The G Pen Elite can go as low as 200 degrees. I generally like my vaping sessions around 372F, which the Hydrology 9 can’t do.
For those who are new to this, different cannabinoids vaporize at different temperatures. So if you’re vaping cooler, you will get a lighter vapor, but you’ll be leaving some of the good stuff in the bud. If you vape it hotter, then you get more of the good stuff, but you start getting more of carcinogens, too. It’s all about finding that balance point. The water filtration here lets you vape it a bit hotter without getting the smokier taste.
Getting too stoned isn’t the end of the world, but my biggest gripe might be a deal breaker for some: The Hydrology 9 is right on the upper edge of what could be reasonably called “portable.” At seven inches long and 1.75 inches in diameter, it’s certainly not going to fit into your jeans pocket. At least not without looking… odd. When I’m looking for a portable vape I’m thinking about something I can throw in a pocket and take on a hike. You’re going to need a backpack or purse for this thing. It feels more like a vape you keep at home but you don’t have to keep plugged in.
Other small gripes? It takes about a minute for it to get up to temp, which is pretty slow. Occasionally, when you’re taking a long draw, a bubble will come up and splash your lip with bong water. Now, it’s vape-bong water, so it’s not nearly as nasty as standard bong water, but it certainly isn’t ideal. Cloudious 9 (the company that makes this thing) claims that it will last roughly 15 session on a single charge. I guess that depends on what you call a session. I found that I got closer to ten. It certainly isn’t bad, but it’s not a marathoner, either.
Ultimately, the quality of the vapor this thing puts out is just so damn good that it’s impossible not to love it. The sleek and smart design helps, too. I just wish it weren’t so damn big. It costs $250 , but your throat, lungs, and taste buds will thank you.
- Smoothest, best tasting vapor I’ve ever had
- Beautiful and smart design make it unlike any other vape
- Magnetic mouthpiece cover and built-in stirrer are fantastic
- Too damn big to fit in your damn pocket
- Has a mode to make the lights strobe, which might cause you to freak out
Bong vs. Vaporizer: which is better?
Bongs, vaporizers, blunts and joints – every stoner has their preference. We’ve already looked at the age-old battle of bongs vs joints, and today we’re looking at the differences between bongs and vaporizers. In this blog article we explain the advantages of bongs and the advantages of vaporizers and compare them to see which is better.
Why is there a difference in effect when smoking bongs and vaporizers?
Before answering this question, it needs to be said that there is a huge difference between the way bongs and vaporizers work. In a bong, you simply light the herb in the bowl, and you try to inhale everything at once. A vaporizer, on the other hand, does not burn the herbs: it heats the weed (either directly or by heating the air passing through it) without actually burning or combusting it. So “smoking a vaporizer” is not really a thing, actually, because there is no real smoke!
Bong vs Vaporizer– different high
As a result of this completely different method of heating the weed and getting the cannabinoids into your body, the effect you feel will when using a vaporizer will be different to the effect of smoking a bong. Both a bong and a vaporizer are usually used for consuming pure herbs, without mixing tobacco, so that doesn’t make a difference.
So, what is the difference in effect between bongs and vaporizers? When smoking a bong, you usually take one or two big hits and then you put it away. All of the weed (smoke) gets into your body very quickly. Depending on your style of vaporizer, this may or may not be the same. A Volcano Vaporizer, for example, has a big balloon that fills itself with smoke, which you can then inhale. This is similar to a bong, because you inhale a lot of cannabinoids in a short period of time. But many vaporizers are designed to be smoked more like a shisha (hookah) or a joint, giving you a few minutes to take multiple draws before it shuts itself off. So in most cases, a bong hits faster and harder, because you inhale so much in a very short time.
But after it hits you, the effect will also be different. Although you’re using the same substance, the different way of getting it into your body does affect the effect on your mind and body. When you burn (good) weed in a bong, it often feels very overwhelming and you get a high that can be somewhat clear, but it most cases it will feel heavy and unforgiving. A vaporizer gives you a very different feeling: even if you are smoking (or vaping, actually) high grade cannabis, the effect is often much more clear, less heavy (although still very effective) and less overwhelming. This could be explained partially by the fact that terpenes stay much more intact when you vape your weed instead of smoking, and recent studies have shown that also the terpenes (the things that give your weed its taste and aroma) can affect the high.
Advantages of Bongs
For many people, a bong is the only true way of smoking cannabis. The sure-fire way to get absolutely blazed out of your mind is here to stay, and the stoner culture is impossible to imagine without bongs. A bong has a few obvious advantages over vaporizers. You don’t need to charge the batteries or make sure you have electricity (yes, we know, there are also vaporizers that do not require any electricity, but most do). Another big advantage is that cleaning a bong is usually much easier than cleaning a vaporizer, because you can’t simply soak a vaporizer in hot water or flush it with a cleaning solution (unless you want to destroy it forever). Also, although bongs might break if you drop them, there are no electrical components that can fail unexpectedly. So IF(!) you treat a bong properly and carefully, it is normally more reliable. And, many bongs are much cheaper than vaporizers, although this is not a very fair comparison because there are cheap vaporizers and expensive bongs as well. But overall, vaporizers are more expensive than bongs.
Advantages of Vaporizers
Is it healthier to use a vaporizer instead of a bong?
The biggest and most obvious advantage of a vaporizer is that there is no combustion, and therefore no real smoke. This means: no toxic fumes because you’re burning a plant, and no tar or other crap that gets into your lungs! Many people who need to stop smoking (cigarettes or joints) switch to vaporizers to save their lungs. There is no doubt about is: a vaporizer is safer for your lungs than a bong (even though a good bong also filters out many unwanted particles, such as tar, making it a fairly clean way to smoke).
Another BIG advantage of vaporizers over bongs is that a vaporizers keeps your teeth much cleaner, because there is no smoke involved. So, if you’re in bed after brushing your teeth and you don’t want to get your teeth dirty again, simply leave the bong aside and take a hit from the vaporizer! Some bongs have a special design that filters the smoke more than once. These bongs also filter out more tar and other harmful substances from the smoke. Percolator bongs are also very popular. A good example with great value for money is our ‘Black Leaf’ Straight Ice Bong with 4-Arm Percolator.
Many people also ask us whether a bong or vaporizer is better for wax or dabs. Our answer: The only real way to smoke concentrates is to use an oil bong (dab rig); but this is 2020, and nothing is impossible! There are special vaporizers for wax or dabs (such as the “dab straw”), but you can also use many dry herb vaporizers to vape concentrates by using vape wool!
Bong or vaporizer for the first time?
Many people who smoke weed for the first time wonder whether it’s better to smoke a bong or use a vaporizer for the first time. If you’ve never smoked weed before, just be sure to take it easy. It doesn’t really matter whether you smoke a bong or vaporizer the first time you try weed, what matters is the dose. Just take a very small toke, wait a few minutes and see how it goes. If you think you can handle more, then take another draw. Be careful, because cannabis can creep up quite slow and hit you late and unexpected. Smoking too much the first time isn’t dangerous, but it can be very uncomfortable. Having said that, it’s usually a little easier to carefully dose with your vaporizer than it is with your bong. But then again, if you’ve never smoked a bong before, you probably won’t be able to take a huge bong hit anyway without coughing your lungs out!
What do you prefer; bong, vaporizer, or a joint? Or perhaps blunts or pipes?We explain the advantages of bongs and the advantages of vaporizers and compare them to see which is better: bongs or vaporizers? ]]>